Every pregnant woman needs support during this period. She also goes through many changes and makes decisions on a daily basis until the day she delivers.
Sometimes, those decisions could range from what type of birth she would want, natural or CS, to which hospital or clinic would she want to go for delivery and in some instances, the people she needs around during her pregnancy and on her due date.
Most countries, Kenya included, have main hospitals that allow the woman to have someone by her side during the delivery. Some Kenyan hospitals, especially the public ones, do not allow other people in the delivery room.
However, before a woman considers letting her spouse inside the delivery room, here are some of the things she needs to consider:
- The relationship between the two
This experience is such a delicate, intense and very intimate that requires the person who is close enough to the mother-to-be. Most people choose to have either the mother or a sibling while others prefer having the child’s father present during childbirth. Then there are those who prefer to have their close friends in the delivery room with them recording everything as it goes down.
However, this person you let to go into the room with you should be someone who is brave, super supportive and willing to hold your hand and encourage you through the process. This person should also be relentless and someone who will be there to hold you every step of the way, including if there would be any health complications.
- How bold this person is
There are some people who freeze at the sight of needles. These are not the kind of people you would want in the same room with you. You also need someone who will not faint at the sight of blood or when the baby starts coming out. This kind of person will only make your delivery experience even harder as they will send wrong energy in your direction.
- Who the second option will be
Sometimes, people do not fulfil the commitments they make and others make decisions that they later rethink and realize that they cannot push through. Should you be the kind of woman who wants someone in the room with you, it is important to have a plan B just in case the person you had chose n to join you declines or fails to show up at the last minute.
“I remember the father of my baby suggesting that he wanted to join me in the delivery room. I refused at first because I had heard stories of how people say many things when going through that kind of pain and I did not want to do that when he is there listening. But after much convincing, I agreed. He changed his mind at the last minute and said he will wait outside the delivery room. I had to ask my mother to come in with me and help me through the process,” narrates Shiko Kamau, a mother of a four-year old girl.
- Consider having a Doula
A doula is someone, who though not a medical practitioner, has been trained and can help you through childbirth. This person can give you all the support you need emotionally and physically, and guide you through the process and assist you in easening the pain.
They can be of help especially when you do not want a family member with you inside since you want to have the experience without pressuring either of them to be in the delivery room with you.
However, it is important to note that there are couples who get affected after such an experience while there are others who get closer after childbirth with the men respecting their women even more. There are also those who end up traumatized as they find it hard to get the picture out of their head. There are even those who stop any sexual relations with their spouses for the fear of causing them more pain. So, it is important to consult with your spouse and be sure that the decision they want is what they will be okay with even after the child is delivered.
Most women still find it hard to let in more people. Despite things changing on a daily basis, it is important to first ensure that you are comfortable before thinking of who to let into the delivery room.
The Efficient Woman asked men from different ages and walks of life if they would agree to get into the delivery room and these are their responses.
Kelly 31, “I saw my girlfriend give birth three years ago. That whole experience made me whole again. It made me see my woman on a different level . There are things I don’t do because of the level of respect I have for her.’’
Sebastian 41,” I have three children and I have never been in any delivery room before. But I was present and waiting at the door the whole time, however long it took. There is just something about seeing a woman bring another person to life through that pain that makes me freak out. I am not ready for that. Ever.’’
“I am always asking myself if I will be able to do that when that time comes. To be honest I can’t say I will or will not as at now. Maybe something will push me into doing it or maybe I will just be too sensitive to do it. Only time will tell,” says the jubilant John Mwangi.
Who do you think should be allowed inside the delivery room during child birth?
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