Joy Stephanie
With dating apps and social media, finding love or companionship has never been easier. But with recent alarming cases of femicide in Kenya, safety must be a top priority, especially for women. It’s important to know not just how to attract the right partner, but also how to avoid potential dangers.
1. Keep Your Personal Info Private
While it may seem harmless to share details about your life online, remember that too much information can make you a target. Avoid revealing personal details like your home address or workplace until you truly trust the person. This isn’t just about identity theft; there have been recent cases where information shared online was used to locate and harm women.
2. First Impressions Count, But Second Impressions Matter Too
When meeting someone for the first time, listen to your intuition and pay attention to red flags. A charming first encounter might hide underlying issues. Unfortunately, most femicide cases in Kenya, like the well-publicized murders of Ivy Wangeci and Agnes Tirop, were linked to partners or close acquaintances who initially seemed trustworthy but displayed abusive behavior over time.
3. Public First Dates are Best
Always meet in a public place where you feel safe and can easily leave if needed. Public spots like coffee shops or busy parks offer a level of security that private locations cannot. This is especially crucial in a country where the majority of femicides occur at the victim’s home.
4. Don’t Ignore Controlling Behavior
Keep an eye out for signs of possessiveness or controlling behavior. If someone gets angry when you spend time with friends or family, take it seriously. Many femicide victims reported having been in relationships with partners who exhibited extreme jealousy and control.
5. Trustworthy Friends and Family
Before heading out on a date, let someone know where you’re going, who you’re meeting, and when you expect to be back. Share your location using apps, and agree on a check-in time with a friend or family member. This simple step could save your life by ensuring someone is aware if you don’t return on time.
6. Don’t Brush Off Threats
Many femicide cases in Kenya are preceded by threats or patterns of abuse. If someone threatens you or behaves violently, don’t dismiss it as a one-time incident. These behaviors can escalate. You have the right to feel safe and respected, and any signs of aggression should be taken seriously.
7. Know Where to Seek Help
If you ever feel threatened, reach out for help immediately. There are organizations like FIDA Kenya and resources available for women experiencing domestic violence or stalking. Femicide is a stark reality in Kenya, and raising awareness and knowing where to turn can help prevent tragedy.
Staying safe in Kenya’s dating scene is about awareness, precaution, and confidence in your right to safety. Empower yourself by trusting your instincts and protecting your personal boundaries. Remember, dating should be fun and enriching, but your safety is always the top priority.
